Accéder au contenu principal

The chronicles of a chronicly sick girl

There is a period of time when my sister was very sickly. She went to the hospital every weekend, and I made fun of her in that sisterly way. I told her she was a pirated/ duplicated version of a human being. Little did I know I will be in a way worse situation.

It all started with a visit at MIT urgent care. I had just had a crisis in my first week of being in Cambridge. 

This sounds weird whenever I tell it to people, but I’ll just drop it here: when I am tired, I cry uncontrollably. It just makes me less tired, however I come out with a horrible headache.

I was on my way to MIT mental when that happened. The nurse in charge thought I probably had some trauma when I cried as she tried to listen to my breathing.

Fast forward, end of freshman year. 

Right after I did my last final exam. I met with my psychiatrist. To this day, he hasn’t told me if I have bipolar disorder or not; despite the fact that I have had experience that point towards it. 

I take five different types of medications each morning and two more types before I sleep. Turns out I am the fake one now.

I don’t regret my diseases though, they are a part of who I am as a person. They have shaped my view of what the world has to offer and what I have to offer to the world.

Commentaires

Enregistrer un commentaire

Posts les plus consultés de ce blog

Blake 11: a psychiatric hospital review

This one is from a while ago, so some details will be a bit here and there. The first time I was hospitalized for my mental illness, which is also the time I was diagnosed, I was at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH). The story of how I got there is in another blogpost. It was the 28th February 2018. I was sent to MGH for a wellness check. I rode with the MIT EMT. They did my labs and all my minerals and fluids were wack. I had spent almost two months without eating and drinking little water. Even though I got there around 10pm I wasn’t seen by a doctor until 2am.  That was because they were trying to give me fluids so that my levels would get close to normal. They also gave me food. A fruit bar and tuna sandwich.  When I met with the doctor, I broke into tears as one does. I told him the analogy of the tree falling in the forest but life/ death edition. We talked about lots of stuff. At the end of our discussion he told me I have bipolar disorder. I didn’t kn...
Enregistrer un commentaire
Lire la suite

Impromptu Poems

1. They came to us running Lusting over our brains The pocketful of vegetables So slow yet so strong Full of savagery It couldn’t be compared So, we had to choose: Fight or flight Help or denial The weak or the strong. We wait for the weak And we lose ourselves We leave them behind, And we lose them forever. A dilemma Who to save? Who to leave? This was inspired from a debate motion saying," in case of a Zombie attack, do we wait for the weak" 2. Standing in front of us, They hold our brains Filling them up Opening them up All these new words The insane concepts The beauty of what lies ahead Quickly scribbling new teachings As if they were scriptures We seek to express But we are impressed How does someone know so much? This should be illegal Either way, it isn’t That’s where the beauty lies Written when I visited the beginner's class during the dreamers camp 2016
2 commentaires
Lire la suite

A letter to ggast class of 2017

Dear Gashora Girls Academy class of 2017, As I write this, I am in the MIT orientation. Last year at this exact time I was at home, sick. Less than a week earlier, I had a mental breakdown. The next day I was given permission to go home, and this marked the first of many trips I took home that term. I might have had a slightly different experience in the last term, but I believe I can give you some words of wisdom. Senior six (grade 12) was a frightening year for me. I was not a proactive person, and I liked​ to keep things to myself. Selling myself to a college seemed so hard for me. I had to talk to Mr John, our University counselor, do research, standardized tests, and all those things. I didn't know where to start. I was simply confused, so I stopped everything. I started the year with a 31 score in ACT practice, however, it went downhill from there. When I'm overwhelmed with multiple thing to do, I tend to freeze and not do anything at all. So I stopped ACT pract...
2 commentaires
Lire la suite