Common app essays, part 1

Topic: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you have experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

I was a shadow. I walked, but I was not seen. What people saw in me was the outside shell. They saw a girl who was not affected by stressful moments, a girl with perfect grades, and even though she was not that social, it was fine. But no one really saw the troubled girl with a mind full of turmoil, a heart full of darkness and a future full of nothing. Sometimes, I would force myself to smile so that no one would see the wars going on in my mind. In reality, I did not remember how to be happy.

One can wonder what brought the wars in my mind. Sometimes, In the middle of the night when I awoke with a start, I would wonder what turned me into the shell of a person I had become. It had started in the last days of February. I had panic attacks for no reason at all, and sometimes I would lose control of my limbs. I felt like everything I was doing was for nothing. I started drifting away from my friends, and immersed myself in studying. I was not at rest. I could cover a whole book, and I still felt empty and ignorant. I felt useless and worthless. I was a fraud waiting to be discovered. On the outside, I seemed fine, but I was rotting inside. In mid-June, I started visiting suspicious websites, I was fascinated with people talking about extracting cyanide from apple seeds and using it as poison. Was I suicidal, or simply hopeless?
The vicious cycle was reaching its peak. I had stopped doing things I loved like reading books and writing poems. Though I was spiraling towards self-destruction, I did not want to take anyone down with me. So when they talked about the national standards competition, I had to go together with the Gashora team. The three best would go on to the next step- the 11th International standards competition in Korea. I never thought I would be part of the top three. I simply hoped one of the Gashora girls would win, and then I would ask her for a gift from Korea.

It was a Monday afternoon, and I had finished the final exams. Honestly, I did not know what to do next. I had given up on the agriculture project I was working on, and I was thinking of not doing the ACT.I was just meandering around with nothing specific to do. Mr. Alain, our headmaster, had received an email of the result and he knew that I was the fifth. The third- a Gashora girl- had gone to the United States of America for an internship, leaving the spot free. So he decided to ask the people who organized the competition that I take that spot, and they accepted. Seeing his excitement when he told me this and the opportunities at hand, I had no other choice but to accept his offer.

After the competition in Korea, I came back to school a different person. I was hopeful, bubbly and I had learnt how to smile and be happy. I had registered for the ACT and finished my agriculture project. I started thinking of applying to different colleges in order to build my future. So what happened in Korea? What made me change from the hopeless, self-destructive person that I was before then, to the joyous, hard working person that I am now. I truly do not know the answer to this, but I believe the grace of God touched me. In the meantime, I am enjoying the prospects of being alive, happy and looking forward to a better future.

PS: This is a personal essay I had written for Stanford, but in the end, I didn't apply there. I can't guarantee that it could have gotten me in, but I think it might help someone understand a little bit more about the intricacies of writing a good college essay. There might be some errors her and there, but I wanted to put it here just like I had written it months ago.