uMwizerwa wa Ngoboka

Almost a year ago, I started this blog. My first blog, learn from your friend's mistakes, was written after a particularly traumatizing night. I experienced extreme pain in the night of the twenty fifth of August last year. During that night, I realised I had been overworking myself for naught. College did matter, National exams did matter; however my life mattered more. I had no valid reason to neglect my mental and physical well-being. I wanted the whole world to know, most especially my peers, that all these things we sweat for are just vanity and chasing after the wind. I chased after the wind too. I studied too hard and forgot life was not just about academics. It was also about sitting next to my best friends and cracking jokes. It meant going to ask for food in the break time and enjoying that exquisiteness. Life is all about creating memories, making lasting bonds. That is something I learned a little late, but not too late. A few months prior, I had distanced myself from...

La naissance et la mort, La tristesse et la joie, L’amour et la haine, Le pardon et la rancœur. C’est la vie, c’est la vie. Elle n’est pas parfaite Mais, elle est assez bonne. On ne peut pas tout avoir, Mais on n’a le nécessaire. C’est la vie, c’est la vie Elle peut tout donner, Et elle peut tout reprendre. Sucrée ou amer, On l’aime toujours. C’est la vie, c’est la vie. Elle te fera peur, Elle te fera pleurer. Elle te donnera sourire, Elle te donnera courage. C’est la vie, c’est la vie. Dans toutes ses défauts, Dans toutes ses souffrances, Accepte-la sans crainte. Tu trouveras la paix, Tu trouveras l’amour.

In the summer of 2015, I attended the first of its kind WiSci STEAM camp. It brought together girls from eight different African countries and the USA. It was a three weeks long intensive camp aimed at inspiring and encouraging girls to join the STEAM fields. We were taught multiple things from Microsoft, Intel, and other companies and people. We were expected to come up with a final project that used the knowledge we had acquired to solve the problems in our society. In the last weekend, we went for a trip in the Akagera National park. The trip was super amazing. However, I was very anxious. I had no team for the final project and no idea of what I wanted to make. However, I was fed up with the transportation system. Only recently, they had introduced big buses we referred to as “zonda.” These buses were a total pain; because they packed us up like potatoes. There was no breathing room, and I am pretty sure they exceeded the number of people indicated on the insurance. I had to fin...

On the twenty first of April 2017, I turned nineteen. I also accepted the offer of admission to Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). I had received the acceptance letter four months ago, on the fifteenth of December at Tau time. I had put in a lot of efforts and energy in my application. I loved  joking that I will put so many amazing things in my application that the admission officers would have no other choice but  to accept me. I had taken multiple videos to submit with my portfolio- which I ended up not adding to the portfolio. I wrote a poem putting together my love of science and fashion. I secretly think it was one of the reasons I was admitted. On pie day, the regular admissions decisions were released, and consequently the platform to respond to the admission decision was opened. I didn't respond right away, even though I knew my answer would be yes anyways. After being admitted to MIT, I never bothered to apply to any other college or university. For one,i...

The leaves have fallen The day has started But the sun hasn't risen. The cold wind makes me tremble The stench makes me grumble But the pain around me is defeaning So much agony So much pain In this dark place Death is common occurrence Loss has become a habit But hope keep us awake Doctors are running all around Tryna save just one more person But the time is running out

Dear class of 2021, A few months ago, we individually received letters that would change the course of the next four years of our lives and even more- letters of admission to colleges and Universities. Subsequently, a kindred soul decided to create this group- a WhatsApp group. It was to be the birth of a new community, new friendships and relationships. I was added in the first round, introductions were made, jokes were cracked, etc. I, with my eternal apprehension to large groups of people- even virtual ones, kept quiet. I told myself I would do the intro tomorrow, until It was no longer something I aspired to do.  So I resigned myself to being a "lurker". I learned to know a number of you, your perks and quirks, your style and so much more. Selfishly, I never gave any part of me. A number of you may know me as the "MIT" girl, and others, we spent three years of highschool together, yet some completely ignore my existence, but it's no big deal- I didn...

I was the lost sheep But you called my name. Je sombrais dans les ténèbres Mais tu as été Mon etincelle Nari ngiye kugwa mu rwobo Ariko wamfashe akaboko You took me into fertile lands And let me drink the water of Life Tu m'as emmener vers la Lumiére Et tu as chassée Les esprit noirs Wanyoboye mu nzira y' ubugingo Urinda intambwe zanjye ngo ntatsikira nkagwa

We all have our inner demons, screaming to be let out. They taunt us. Scratch our consciousness. They make us question so many things, even our own existence. We don't like our demons though, and we definitely don't want to let them out. However a time comes when we can't just cover them up and hope their screams won't echo. I have my own personal demons. They whisper to me at night. So soft a murmur I barely acknowledge them. They tell me that I am not enough. They make me question my relevance on Earth. My little heart desperate for significance breaks over and over again. I end up listening to the voice whispering late in the night, for I don't know what else to do. In the summer of last year- fancy way to say second term- I followed my demons. I let them roam free in my mind. I was overwhelmed with the things I had to do. I had always depended on my own efforts. I knew I could make things work out. I studied hard and got good grades. I never really bothered...

I was the weird one Fat and Ugly Yet you came to me I had no riches Real or virtual Yet you stayed with me You were not afraid of what lay ahead Young and hopeful It was us against the world But the time came And our paths diverged I was the quiet​ one Intelligent and book crazy Yet you came to me. I had no other friends, Real or virtual Yet you stayed with me You were not afraid of my loneliness Instead you welcomed in your world Your friends became mine But the time came And our paths diverged I was lost With no Identity Yet you came to me I belonged nowhere Real or virtual Yet you stayed with me You were not afraid of my pessimism Instead you brought sunshine to my world Together we conquered darkness But the time will come And our paths will diverge. The distance will be long The time apart unbearable But home is where the heart lies And you are my home, Closest to my heart. ....................................... This is dedicated to m...

I don't usually react as expected when good or bad things happen to me. I tend to tell myself that it was meant to be, and this , sometimes, stops me from taking things at their exact value. For example, I didn't scream out loud when I got perfect scores in national exams in primary, ordinary level or advanced level. I didn't know what to do when I received my admission to MIT, so I gave thanks to the Lord and went back to sleep. I grew up as a reserved child, who liked to live inside her head- and I still do. It has always been difficult for me to express how I felt sometimes. Maybe it was because I got grounded on multiple occasions for talking too much. It may have also been caused by my lack of communication skills, because I couldn't relate with what my classmates passed through. I am very thankful for my academic excellence. Since a tender age, my parents told me that I was very intelligent, and this made me proud. When I started school, I got amazing grades....

I was denied the right to vote For years I could not speak for myself I was underestimated My light was blocked It could not shine. I believed in my power I fought for my rights My voice was heard And I conquered, I am a sovereign. Many wonder who I am They ask themselves how I came to be I am an ocean of mysteries A tornado of strength A forest full of resources I am a WOMAN Wealthy Outlandish Magnificent Ambitious Noble That's who I am.

I learnt what STEAM meant two years ago, when I attended the WiSci (women in science) camp in the summer of 2015. I was super excited; because, it combined everything I loved. Math has been my love since a very tender age, although neither my older brother nor sister was fond of it.  I was amazed by how science can answer many questions about how the world works.  Technological advances had provided us with lots of practical inventions making the world more connected. Finally engineering is the thread holding all of these together, by creating awesome things for us to use. I was just a small five year old playing with children in the neighborhood when my interest in STEAM was sparked. We were playing with a catapult, and I was intrigued at how a stick and rubber band can make something so functional. I did not know it then, but I fell in love with making things at that instant. Since then I have worked on various project involving making things.  For example, I designed...

The sun refused to shine, The moon did not rise, All around was dark, I struggle to find a flicker of hope, But despair weights me down. I can't run, I am bound in one position. I try to scream, But my mouth is gagged. I look up; A dark weight is above me. Nothing is left for me, All I can do is wait for death. My final rest and peacefulness.

Yesterday, on the fourth of July, Rwanda celebrated it's liberation. Twenty three years ago, the Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF) conquered Kigali and stopped the Tutsi Genocide. The Genocide had started three months prior, triggered by the crash of president Juvenal Habyarimana's plane. On that day, April 6th 1994, all hell broke loose. Rwandans killed Rwandans. Parents their children, husbands their wives, children their parents. Humanity was no longer part of our vocabulary. So many people's lives were destroyed then. Around a million Tutsis and sympathizing Hutus were killed, but many more lost themselves during that period. Despite the monstrosity that occurred then, Rwanda rose from the ashes. We did what most people considered impossible. All fields are growing fast thanks to good governance. The government of unity tried real hard to foster unity and reconciliation through various programs like Gacaca. Rwandans were urged to forgive and ask for forgiveness. However, ...

Little me was a sweet child She thought the world was a good place She thought a smile and a helping hand were common place But the world was not a good place And smiles turned into frowns Little me played by the rules She asked for permission for anything She respected everyone and anyone But the world never played fair And she had to learn new tricks Little me loved to talk to people She told them her joys and sorrows She told them her dreams and aspirations But the people didn't care about what she said And she turned into a quiet girl Little me loved to sing She learned lyrics of her favorite songs by heart She sang songs to whoever was around But nobody cared about her voice And she decided to stop singing Little me was a voracious eater She ate anything served on a plate But the food got her fat And fat was not beautiful apparently Little me was a chubby child She received multiple compliments She was told she would grow up to be like her mother...

On the first Sunday of February 2014, I became a Gashora girl.  Less than a week prior to that, I received my admission to Gashora Girls Academy of Science and Technology (GGAST). I had had a perfect score in the national exams, and had a place in two other schools: Ecole des Sciences de Byimana and Cornerstone Leadership Academy. To be honest, I didn’t like Ecole des Sciences; I had chosen it because of parental pressure. It was the "best school” in the country, and I deserved nothing but the best- according to my parents. However, I studied my ordinary level at a neighboring school, Groupe Scolaire Notre Dame de Lourdes Byimana, which happened to be its rival. I grew to despise the school, and had learnt many horror stories about it- like the student abuse, duly named as instilling discipline. In addition, it seemed to be the stereotypical "all work and no play" kind of school. I loved the cornerstone leadership Academy. I had sweated to get admitted there, for I had d...

The darkness enveloped me I labored to breath I struggled to take a little air in But my lungs failed​ me. The deafening silence frightened me, I tried to ask for help Screaming for dear life But my voice failed me The nothingness overwhelmed me I scrambled​ for a handhold, I attempted​ to climb up, But my hands failed​ me. All I heard was the echo, My heartbeat calling on to me My shallow breath murmuring back My frail hand scrambling on. All I needed​ was just one breath All I craved​ for was just one sound All I wanted​ was just a little strength Just one more chance. A chance to live A chance to talk A chance to move A chance to be  Closing my eyes I call upon my inner strength I let my inner self so the work And I know I will be fine. Letting my legs lead me I walk towards salvation I let my heart do the work And I know I will be fine Opening wide my eyes, I see a whisper of light I let my sight guide me And I know I will be fine Al...

One day, I had to go to the US Embassy. I left home planning to wait for the bus that would take me to the Remera bus park. As I reached the main road, I saw a bus coming and I was elated. I knew I would have to rush so that I could catch it. The bus passed by me towards the bus stop. I decided to run to increase my chances of reaching the bus before it drove off. Despite all the efforts I put in, and the sacrifices I made; the bus drove off without me. I was boiling with anger. How could they leave me! I was just a few steps away. I had gone against my principles and run after a bus, which is kind of a shame. I knew that the next bus would come after close to an hour, even though going there on foot takes a little more than a half hour. I had three other options. One is to take a bike, it is a little bit more expensive than taking the bus, but also more accident prone. The other one was taking a bicycle, but I have a dark fear of bicycles. The only option worth considering was walking...