On a sunny Saturday afternoon, we set out to carry out the first stage of the community service challenge. By We, I mean all the participants of the critical thinking for peace camp. We were divided into groups of six or seven, and each group was given a family to visit. The families were identified by the social affairs office of the cell. I was in group eight with six other mentees. We left the village before four P.M, and headed to the village. My team and I were to visit an elderly woman called NYIRAKAMANA Stephanie. The lady had no child and lived alone.
Stephanie’s home is quite a distance from the main road, a small mud covered house with a compound, a makeshift kitchen, and a small land. The chief of the agglomeration led the way, occasionally saying hello to acquaintances. As we neared her home, we started having suspicions- she didn’t seem to be home. Our doubts were confirmed when we found her door closed with a padlock. We were almost to tears as we moved back to the road trying to figure out what to do next.
After an excuriating hike up to the main road, we were resigned to splitting up and joining other groups. Just as we joined the next group, we saw an old hunched woman- our host. We felt immense joy, coupled with apprehension to hike back down. However, it was all worth it, for we were ready to start an exhilarating ride. With a quick stride, she lead the way and welcomed us to her house.
Her joy was immeasurable. Stephanie was a lone wolf, she had no child or close family. Despite her old appearance, she is only turning sixty. Before the 1994 genocide, she lived with her husband close to her parent’s home at Rutongo. When the genocide broke out, her parents, siblings and husbands were killed. She was only left with one brother and a little child. Her child died a few years later poisoned by those who didn’t want what’s best for her.
Nevertheless, she didn’t dwell on her tragedy. She had moved to Rwamagana in a small area called Byobo. With the little money she had, she bought a piece of land where she built her house and has a little farm beside it. The house was tiny though, and very ill equipped. It is a one room house with her sleeping quarters in one corner. She has a makeshift bed with no mattress or other bedding materials. Her cooking utensils are few and stacked in the other corner. Her kitchen, is just a few bricks one on top of the other beside the house.
Her greatest challenge proved to be loneliness. Knowing that no one is entitled to look after her or the other way round. Yes, she has neighbors; however, as long as they know that she is alive they don’t care about her grieving. She once bought a radio, but she failed to buy piles hence did not use it. She told us that the world had changed, was moving faster and leaving her behind. People used to care for others, made banana wines for the whole village expecting no return. However, you now have to pay, even for water.
Her other equally important challenge, no matter how obvious, is poverty. She almost died of hunger in her house once. She barely had food to put on the table, and didn’t meet other basic needs. Her little farm is very unproductive. She planted bananas years ago but never harvested. Also has a few cassavas in her farm. Stephanie had to do all the chores by herself, for she has no immediate family and cannot afford a house help. Sometimes she walks multiple kilometers to go fetch water.
Spending time with Stephanie was one of the best and most educative part of our day. We learnt that despite our constant need of independence, we still need to have people we care for or who care for us. Our situations should not define who we become. Despite the bad things we pass through, we should learn to look beyond them and find inner peace.
Stephanie’s home is quite a distance from the main road, a small mud covered house with a compound, a makeshift kitchen, and a small land. The chief of the agglomeration led the way, occasionally saying hello to acquaintances. As we neared her home, we started having suspicions- she didn’t seem to be home. Our doubts were confirmed when we found her door closed with a padlock. We were almost to tears as we moved back to the road trying to figure out what to do next.
After an excuriating hike up to the main road, we were resigned to splitting up and joining other groups. Just as we joined the next group, we saw an old hunched woman- our host. We felt immense joy, coupled with apprehension to hike back down. However, it was all worth it, for we were ready to start an exhilarating ride. With a quick stride, she lead the way and welcomed us to her house.
Her joy was immeasurable. Stephanie was a lone wolf, she had no child or close family. Despite her old appearance, she is only turning sixty. Before the 1994 genocide, she lived with her husband close to her parent’s home at Rutongo. When the genocide broke out, her parents, siblings and husbands were killed. She was only left with one brother and a little child. Her child died a few years later poisoned by those who didn’t want what’s best for her.
Nevertheless, she didn’t dwell on her tragedy. She had moved to Rwamagana in a small area called Byobo. With the little money she had, she bought a piece of land where she built her house and has a little farm beside it. The house was tiny though, and very ill equipped. It is a one room house with her sleeping quarters in one corner. She has a makeshift bed with no mattress or other bedding materials. Her cooking utensils are few and stacked in the other corner. Her kitchen, is just a few bricks one on top of the other beside the house.
Her greatest challenge proved to be loneliness. Knowing that no one is entitled to look after her or the other way round. Yes, she has neighbors; however, as long as they know that she is alive they don’t care about her grieving. She once bought a radio, but she failed to buy piles hence did not use it. She told us that the world had changed, was moving faster and leaving her behind. People used to care for others, made banana wines for the whole village expecting no return. However, you now have to pay, even for water.
Her other equally important challenge, no matter how obvious, is poverty. She almost died of hunger in her house once. She barely had food to put on the table, and didn’t meet other basic needs. Her little farm is very unproductive. She planted bananas years ago but never harvested. Also has a few cassavas in her farm. Stephanie had to do all the chores by herself, for she has no immediate family and cannot afford a house help. Sometimes she walks multiple kilometers to go fetch water.
Spending time with Stephanie was one of the best and most educative part of our day. We learnt that despite our constant need of independence, we still need to have people we care for or who care for us. Our situations should not define who we become. Despite the bad things we pass through, we should learn to look beyond them and find inner peace.
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