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I need to talk

It is 9:xx p.m, and I am sited all alone in the Athena Cluster ( Computer Lab) trying to pass -waste- time. This isn't the first time I find myself all alone. Despite the technology that enables us to communicate with people miles away in a blink of an eye, I can't find anyone to talk to. When I say talk, I mean deep conversations.

It is three a.m in Kigali, home. My family and friends back home are fast sleep. I am thousands of miles away from them, and I can't reach them at this time. However, most of my friends are here, in college. Despite that I can't find anyone to talk to heart-to-heart.

One, they are really busy trying to figure out what to do with all this freedom. Maybe, they're getting ready to go to late night parties they were never allowed to go to back home. The most docile ones are getting ready for classes tomorrow, doing homework, or research, or whatever university students do to get ready for lectures.

Two, you can't just tell someone you "need to talk." It is the classic heart attack starter, or in milder terms worry creator. In order to talk about the deep and most times dark and emotional topics, you need to ease into it. Start with small talk, about the weather, food or clothing. After that you can say something about mutual friends, or events you've been to. then you can actually talk about yourself. This is a very long process I don't want to get into at such a late hour.

Three, it might be the last day of Rush, so what better thing to do than go to Greek life events? Free food, lots of fun... What can compete with that? decidedly not a long talk about probably uncomfortable topics. I am actually sad that I missed all of the Rush events, I am pretty sure I might have liked some of them.

Four, and last, I might not even be ready to talk either. Despite my apparent need of a heart-to- heart conversation, I may not be ready to show my little demons- because this would definitely come up in such conversations- to people. I am still my old introverted-self, and would rather pour my heart out to a notebook- seeping a really hot cup of tea.

Commentaires

  1. Unknown8 septembre 2017 à 14:41

    Diane, such a great piece of writing. Know that, you are not alone in this situation. Check out this piece https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/02/opinion/sunday/college-freshman-mental-health.html . Take care, mentor!

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