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A letter to my unborn child



Dear little one,
I love you. 
I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much i will give you what my parents never gave to me, not existing.

People might argue that I am being selfish by not letting you into this world, but I digress. There’s a reason why when a child is born cries. Seeing you cry as you take your first breath would break my heart in pieces. Crying should not be the natural order of things- smiling should. If a baby laughed first time it’s born, maybe I would have considered letting you come into the world.

Oh little one, in all honesty, the pain of existing is too much and I won’t have you go through it. Everytime I wake up, I have to remind myself why I am doing this thing called life. The reasons vary with time. Sometimes, it is my sister who was my light at the end of the tunnel or my parents who sacrificed so much for me to be where I am today other times it’s the opportunities I have been given. Yet on other occasions it is just because I’ve gone this far, and why not see where it ends? However this is a very exhaustive routine, and given that you haven’t even gone to the starting line you do not need to participate in the race.

“You don’t have to dislike children to see the harms done by having them. There is a moral case against procreation” David Benatar mentions in an article . I don’t hate you, I am just open-minded enough to realise how harmful it can be for you to be here. Benatar also argues that even though life is not inherently bad, it is much worse than people think. For most of my life, I was a confused mess. Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with this thing called life?
If a tree falls in a forest, would it hear the sound of the fall? Would the other trees notice? A new tree will grow where the tree has been. Is it a replacement to the one that fell, or is it just a new autonomous being by itself? These questions have plague me most of the time, and I don’t know if I will ever find the answers.
Benatar further compares life to a show, he says that it’s a bad show that you don’t necessarily leave, but wouldn’t have gone to if you knew beforehand. So little one, I won’t bring you to this shitshow,
In addition. My health is so messed up, and I wouldn’t want to trasmit all the bad karma. I’ll definitely not go into details, but I have three inherited diseases, including mental illness and subjecting you to this would simply be mean.
As you can see, I didn’t bother telling you about all the senseless wars being fought around the word, food insecurity, climate change, slavery, sexual assault and many bad things happening around the world.
My loved little peach, I’ll reiterate the love I have for you and hope that you’ll understand- if that is a possibility.

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