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The female predicament

Being a woman is hard, it's too much work and too little pay. It is being blamed for others mistakes, and facing harsh consequences.

Kanyana is a book of editions bakame written to spread HIV/AIDS  awareness. I first read the book in elementary school, grade five. Some things I didn't understand. I still remember my parents outrage when I asked them to buy it for me.
Kanyana is a very beautiful name, and it reflects the character in the book. She was young, beautiful and intelligent. Those attributes ended up being her downfall.

I have heard and understand the “pretty privilege” but sometimes it is also a curse.

In the book; Kanyana, the main character, is off to boarding school- grade 7. On her way to school she meets a guy, who turned out to be her schoolmate. When a conversation about HIV starts in the bus, the guy - Victor- distracts her. He buys her food before they go to school and introduce her to people as a cousin.

Victor is a Playboy, he uses girls and then discards them. He doesn't care about safety during sex and is probably infected with HIV. However, he is in denial despite his best friends advices.

With Kanyana, he decides to change and just pursue her alone. They start as cousins -a lie so that the fact that they are always together doesnt get suspicious. When he realizes other men may come for her he makes their relationship public.

On the other side, Kanyana faces multiple unwanted attention. She is almost raped by a shopkeeper and her math teacher. She is lucky to escape on both occasion. However she doesn't escape her so called love.

Victor tries multiple deceptions to get her to lay, but fails miserably. He tries to use the “prove your love to me” card, but it still doesn't work. After graduating, and Kanyana in grade 10, he finally gets her in bed. However it is more rape than love making. He first inhibits her with alcohol, and then forces himself on her without protection when she resists.

After that one time, Victor disappeared from her life. A year later he sent her a letter saying he's at his death bed with AIDS, asking for forgiveness. It turns out, he also infected her.

Instead of accepting her fate, she decides to be promiscuous. As long as the guy had money, she showed him a good time. I side up with her in some ways, she had been taught to hold herself, make herself smaller and morally correct; but it did not protect her. However, deciding to seek revenge on all males was a selfish decision, even though she had reason to be selfish.

Kanyana gets sicker and then dies in her mother's hands; breaking her heart and crushing her soul.

Rereading the book, I realised it is heavy reading for a child the age I was when I first read it. However, I was happy with the honesty parents had in the book. They talked to their children about sexual health and related topics.

I was also heartbroken by Kanyana’s fate. It reminded me that being a woman is too much work. It is a big risk, with which comes great losses. Kanyana was a victim of structural violence. Being a beautiful woman, all she was defined as was a snack for men to munch on. Even the person she trusted the most, only approached her due to what she had to offer.

Like Kanyana, many women lose their lives due to men trying to taste and own them. On most occasions, women are referred to in relation to men in their lives, someone's daughter, sister, girlfriend, wife and more. However we are our own person. This is something I shall strive for till my last breath.

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